The Round Table
See that table over there by that huge coat of arms on the wall? That's known as the Round Table. Yes, you're right, most of the tables in here are round, or have rounded corners. But that one is the biggest one of all, and when there is nobody sitting there, it has a big "reserved" sign on it.
That's right. That table is where all the problems of the world are going to be settled, once they can make the "arrangements" as they call them. Meanwhile, it is seriously hallowed ground, you might say. Nobody sits at that table that is not invited. Most of the time it is Rich "Aristotle" Millenby that does the inviting. That's because he seems to be the one with the most time on his hands and is most often at the table. He does have a great capacity for beer as well, which is a bonus if you want to host a gathering of the minds of Whippleshire.
Father John Tuck shows up regularly, not often, but regularly. He can usually be counted on for a Tuesday and Thursday night. Of course we call him Friar Tuck. He didn't like it at first but because he is such a slim little fellow he finally saw the humour in it all. He's our official Catholic adjudicator you might say. He listens well, and that is a good thing for a priest, and he knows his stuff, but he's not great at arguing a point.
For that we have Albert the Great. That's what he's called when he's not around. When he's at the table he's variously known as Big Al, RC Al, Alberto, or just plain Albert. His name really is Albertino but most people don't know that. Somewhere in the past his family came from Italy and somewhere back there was a grandfather named Albertino, but his own mother is the last person that ever called him by his real name. As may be imagined, his heritage is also Catholic, but surprisingly enough, he actually knows something about his faith. Rumour is that he went to seminary for awhile in his youth and he retained much of what he learned even after realizing he wasn't priestly material.
Rich Millenby likes to think of himself as the philosopher but when push comes to shove all would agree that the real Socrates of the group is Eamon Gahn. Nobody remembers exactly when he became part of the group. He just seemed to be there one day. And nobody is quite sure what he once did for a living. It seems he retired to Whippleshire, reasonably young and reasonably wealthy. There never seemed to be a Mrs. Gahn and he never mentions it. All that anyone really knows is that his father came from Ireland, and occasionally the trained ear can hear it in his speech. But nobody has the slightest doubt that his intellect far surpasses most at the table. And, that is tolerable because he doesn't make any issue of his vast knowledge and wisdom.
It is an accepted conclusion that if Eamon Gahn were to take on anyone in a serious debate he would win, and because Eamon, by all indications, is Catholic, that gives Albert a lot of confidence, particularly when jousting with Judd Gaarlander, the resident low church Protestant of the group. Judd is a good debater, no question, and he is able to defend a multitude of Protestant positions, even when they conflict with each other. It is not certain whether he is a Baptist, a Methodist, a Presbyterian, a Pentecostal or just a plain old non-denominational. He could even be an Anglican, but he can hold his own defending any one of those. His one weakness is his tendency to lapse into preaching, an ability he developed and still uses on a part-time basis in some of the neighbouring towns.
There are others that come and go, but it is one of these you will usually find at the Round Table. King Arthur has never been seen, unfortunately. Now that would be a conversation.
